1. thebilderbergers:

    The Idiot’s Guide to Smart People: College

    Narration by Will Hines
    Voice of the Idiot: Doug Stoley

    Animation by Pig Apple Productions
    Lead Animators: Mack Williams and Ed Mundy
    Animator: Ryan Denora

    Audio Director: Doug Stoley
    Sound Design and Mix: Mark Turrigiano
    Special thanks to Sticky Audio

    Above Average Producer: Josh Poole

    Written and created by The Bilderbergers

    New Idiot’s Guide! Two more coming this month, plus another three coming later.

  2. spotastic:

    THIS MAN LOCKED ME INSIDE HIS CAB.

    Fuck this man. Fuck him so hard in the fucking face that his brain dies.

    A long day of work and play and it was time to go home, so I was treating myself to a cab. One of the new Nissan Future Taxis picked me up. These things are spacious, but also have a very high separation wall, so you really don’t get a good view of the driver.  I told the cab driver to take me to Queens via the Midtown tunnel. We arrived at my destination, which is always across the street from my apartment building. I have never felt comfortable letting a cab driver know where I live. I paid the fair with a credit card. The driver told me I still owed him for the toll. I told him I have never paid separately for a toll before. He told me to wait a minute, but I did not see him doing anything, the separation wall is high.  I told him he should have added it in, I already paid the fare. He told me to wait a minute. I was feeling very uncomfortable and his behavior was feeling shady. I went to open the door and it was locked. I told him to unlock the door. He told me to wait a minute. I got LOUD and told him to unlock the door. He told me to wait a minute. I threatened to call the cops twice or more before he finally unlocked the door. I got out and walked the opposite direction. The Cab Driver got out, I turned around and he was pulling his unzipped pants up as he came around to the back of the cab. I yelled some things at him about jerking off that I can’t quite remember. They were not witty or clever, they were freaked out and coming from a place of shock.  He told me he was having me banished or some shit and was pointing to the sky.  I stepped into the street to take a photo of the license and he blocked the license plate.  My body started shaking realizing what was happening. Something I can’t prove.  But I will say it. This pile of garbage was keeping me locked inside his cab so he could jerk off with me in there. God knows if he had any other plans. I started officially walking away and called my husband and could barely get the words out. I started shaking and had to think really hard to get my body to move towards my building. Thankfully there is a median on the street I live on, so the Cab Driver could not make a U-turn and follow me. I made it to my buildings driveway and froze, a few minutes later, from a safe distance.  I saw the cab driver pass. My husband found me shivering and crying, frozen in place.

    I have no proof is limp dick was in his hands while I was in the cab.

    I can’t prove the door was locked and he refused to let me out.

    I can and did dispute the charges on my credit card.

    I can and did file a complaint with T & L commission.

    If I ever take a cab again, I guess my first move is to always take a photo of their license and request the doors remain wide open while I am driven home.

    FUCK THIS CAB DRIVER. 

    FUCK HIM IN THE FACE UNTIL HIS BRAIN DIES.

    (via connorratliff)

  3. (Source: cordjefferson)

  4. garlock:

    CAPTAIN MURPHY “THE BIRTH OF CAPTAIN MURPHY” ADULT SWIM SHORT

    So apparently today is the day that a bunch of projects I have been working on for awhile are all going to come out in a pile. Sorry for the overwhelming of Geoff Garlock promotion. But it is all great so I will not apologize for that.

    So this is a Adult Swim short that I wrote. It is the origin story of the mysterious rapper Captain Murphy. I wrote the first draft of this in April of 2013. So it has been a long process but totally worth it. It looks amazing and is one of the weirdest things I have ever written. Thank you to my partner in crime Adam Fuchs aka Lilfuchs for bringing me on to help with this. Thank you to Flying Lotus/Captain Murphy. Dave Willis, Jason DeMarco and the entire crew. And Adult Swim. I hope the Captain returns.

    Garlock + Flying Lotus + Adult Swim = Awesome

  5. (Source: benjaminapple)

  6. khealywu:

    seanrose:

    I’m still really upset and angry. He did it once, the camera happened to be on him, he did it once and I think it’s the funniest joke that’s ever been on our show. - Michael Schur (x)

    this line made me cry laugh so hard i had to pause the episode, im glad mr schur agrees

    Genuinely, infuriatingly, transcendently perfect joke.

    Fuck, that is a great joke.

    (Source: chrisprattings)

  7. I would say the advice I would give myself, or any young person, would be “Keep your head up in failure, and your head down in success.”
    Jerry Seinfeld from his Reddit AMA.
  8. bellevueucb:

Reservations.
    High Res
  9. High Res
  10. bellevueucb:

We’re doing a Seinfeld show on Maude Night! 
Reservations:http://newyork.ucbtheatre.com/performances/view/33661
    High Res

    bellevueucb:

    We’re doing a Seinfeld show on Maude Night! 

    Reservations:
    http://newyork.ucbtheatre.com/performances/view/33661